I told someone that you made my day today.

They asked if i was joking.

I wasn't.

Wolf.

I had my formal the other night. 

It was amazing.

I am currently absurdly stressed because of two (five) assignments due very soon.

Also, someone sent me a letter. And i can't really explain anything about how i'm feeling. But the letter has changed me. 

I don't know if the author will read this but i'll put some of it up and hope he doesn't mind.

Dear thous’t most alluring Phoebe

After my grandmother finished talking to me about her marriage of late, I linked it to love and inherently to you.  I then came across in my mind one of  T’s quotes about how “there is a moment when every moment behind you has come to this point, and every moment after will result directly from this one.”

Every moment before this point has given me the better perspective I needed over a month ago, but still, it led to this epiphany, “The past is what we leave in the dark, the future is the light that we run to”. 

You are the light of which I run to.  The light of which I try so hard to reach.

I… for that lack of a word that no word will ever be able describe, Love you.  Nay, a candle was never made to be untouched by the beautiful passion of fire. 

I don’t want to reach the end of my life with the same result that my grandfather has brought upon himself, losing the one thing that I care about due to anything other than death.  Stupidity and selfishness was his downfall, it shall not be my own.

You once said to me you believed that the love people shared of earlier years was stronger than that of more modern times, you were true in your words.  Let me give you some old time love.

see what i mean. 

I hate myself and my life so much right now.

It's all going to change soon though. I'll be moving. Doing what i was put on this earth to do. And i'll have a completely fresh start. Until then i just need to focus on the positives. 

Formal on friday :)

It's been a while since i last wrote something. It's been a very busy time.

Finished Sweeney. It was amazing. I was happier with my first performance rather then my second. I've liked people. 

I've stopped liking people. 

I got so sick i was in bed for 4 days. 

I've cried. 

I've laughed. 

I've sung, alot. 

I've had another birthday. 

I've got fake nails on (a first for me). 

I've failed 3 of my 5 subjects. 

And now i'm left with an endlessly busy schedule and an odd feeling of emptiness within my life. I assume it's because of a few personal issues along with the lack of love in my life and the lack of theatre on a day-to-day basis. 

At my school at the moment, alot of people are really stressed/depressed/upset, myself included and it feels like people are just very wrapped up in their own worlds without giving consideration to others around them. I need to start being a better person and make people happier then they are. Thats the way the make myself a happier person on the inside. That and eating chocolate.

Six.

Sitting alone, cold and tired on the bus i realized how much i love you.

holly dayz.

well i haven't posted a blog in a while so i will now. 

i'll give you a rough lowdown of my holidays so far

Sunday- Brandon's picnic then roo's house with LOTS of pizza and v*dka 

Monday- Roo, Maddy and I spent roughly four hours half asleep in the spare bedroom :) followed by more pizza

Tuesday- Went to chermside with emma and saw "the hangover". It was pretty funny. shmeh. and i had amazing japanese food. OH and i got my new phone which made me the happiest girl in the world. Then ruth came over in the night time and we watched monsters inc. and laughed and ate chicken crimpies. 

Wednesday- Ruth left before i woke up but thats not saying much considering i didn't wake up till 12.30. then we literally just lazed around which was effing beautiful. oh just magnificent. and i made us some pizza. then emma went home around 4pm and i cleaned up a bit and cooked pasta and meatballs for dinner. yum.

Thursday- Quite spontaneously i ended up going to the gold coast with Eesh and her grandpa and we went to pacific fair and shopped for around 4 hours. i got some lovely flats and some jewelry and Eesha got shirts and jewelry. 

Thhheeen, Callum got free tix to "In Stitches" at QPAC  *thanks josh thomas:)" and it was 

Mike Wilmot, Russell Kane, Smart Casual, Dave Thornton and Felcity Ward. 

it was ok. i mean I'm not complaining. but they were just very crude and thats not my style. 

so anyway that brings me to now. today. where i'm finally *doing* my assignments and stuff. 

but i wanted to write a quick hello to you all. 

P.S. i'm pretty sure i don't have emotion anymore. i haven't cried in months and don't love any boys. i just am constantly in neutral.